Memorial Weekend

Guys, having a family means some good times and some bad times.  And we had plenty of both the last two weeks.  But I am here to focus on the GOOD TIMES! Yaya

For Memorial Weekend our good friends the Woodhouses invited us to join them in Lincoln City, OR at their family's lake house.  

Since we have plenty of trips in store for this summer I bought those cool car seat desks you may have seen around.  They were pretty awesome, although they didn't fit very snugly on our Nexfit carseats.  It was awesome for Elsy but Tommy soon got fed up with it.

The lake house was AMAZING!  This is the only photo I have of the outside, and this was the back.  We were right on Devil's Lake.  And in the background you cans see a bridge and on the other side of the bridge was the ocean.  It was SO much fun to be on a freshwater lake and get to do all the stuff associated with lake vacations and then be in walking distance (like a 5 min walk) to the beach!

The cabin had everything we needed for a good time including a paddle boat!

Elsy sat in the back and then I just held onto the handle on the back of Tommy's life jacket and let him climb all around.  It kinda made my arm sore but it was so much fun.

They were sort trips on the lake because Tommy really didn't last very long.  He has been getting his molars in and thus was the biggest crankster gangster for the weekend.  And then the two days after we got back her cried like, all day long.  But the last two days have been a dream because the molar he was working on finally popped through.  He has been so chipper and happy and I have missed him so much.  I was super bummed to feel his final molar this morning is about to start cutting.  Right before our next long trip to Utah.  Ugh.

The weather was cold the first two days we were there but then the next three were amazing.  I have been going to the Oregon Coast for every summer my entire life (I have only missed one year since I was born!) and the weather was as good as it gets there.  So much fun letting the kids get all sandy.

Logan dug a hole and put his legs in with Tommy.  Tommy is standing up here.

Logan and I have fallen on some really rough times.  If you want more information about it you will have to find my black and cream journal with an old fashioned bicycle on it.  I won't mention anything more here about it but we are going through some hard times as a couple.  We are confident we can make it through, though and have faith the Lord will lead us through the storms of life together.  So that made this weekend rough for our relationship, having to pretend nothing was wrong around all our friends. Luckily the kids slept good.  Tommy got to sleep in our bed and cuddle one morning.

The kids got to go jet skiing for the first time!  Elsy loved it, except she didn't like to go fast.

I loved seeing her little eyes peep up over the side.

Tommy was so jealous that we just had to let him have a turn.  That boy is so into cars and all things fast.

Logan and I also got to go out together while the kids napped and some of our friends watched them.  That jet ski was the fastest jet ski I have ever been on.  It was so fun to ride!

We only went to the beach twice but the kids just loved it.  Tommy found a rock that he grew quite attached to.

Elsy stole my sun hat and has been keeping it in her dress up box.  I brought it for her to use since I don't have a hat for her right now.  I just loved how it covered her all up.

Logan likes to dig holes.  He dug all the way down to the damp sand.

The fun thing about this beach was that the lake drained into the ocean.  So there was this little freshwater river that cut through the sand.  That was fun because it wasn't sticky like the salt water of the ocean and it was shallow for the kids to play in.  Sadly the clouds and wind came in right before the kids went in.  Poor Tommy just shook and shook but bawled his eyes out when we finally got him out.

The cabin also had some paddle boards and kayaks, too.  I went paddle boarding for the first time and absolutely loved it.  On Sunday I took a nap with the kids while Logan went out on the paddle boat.  He said it perfect when he said it feels just like you are taking a walk on the water.  I woke up to a bouquet of water lilies and wild roses.  He even braided some reeds together at the base to make a hand hold.  :)  It was nice after some of the hard things we have been going through.

We also enjoyed going shopping at the outlet mall and eating at J's Fish 'n Chips - the BEST fish 'n chips you will ever have.  We also went out to Moe's Famous Clam Chowder House.  We had so much fun with our friends, Christ and Camille Woodhouse with their little Jaxson (5 months), Kurt and Lauren Daniels, Alyssa and Johnny Rodriguez, and Dan and Michelle Nokes.  Kurt also had a friend come with his girlfriend.  There were a few times I felt a little out of place just because nobody else had kids (except the Woodhouses).  I just felt like I didn't have much in common with the others.  We kind of had to put our foot down and say we didn't want to eat out at a Casino, we may have blamed it a little on our kids but I didn't feel comfortable going there, especially with my kids.  There were times I wondered if I wanted to go again, but we really did have so much fun.

On the trip home we decided to drive up to the Tillamook Cheese Factory for some good ole cheese and ice cream.  

Elsy loved it there, but Tommy hated staying cooped up in the stroller.  There were soooooo many people there.

Mmm, never buy anything but Tillamook for cheese and ice cream when we go to the store.  It is our one brand we are super loyal to. ;)

The sign said don't climb the cow... :P

Sadly there was terrible traffic.  We left the cabin at 11am and didn't get home until after 9pm.  Gross.  We did stop for dinner and the cheese factory... but seriously!  I hate traffic.  There were so many accidents.

Luckily the kids slept awesome.  In fact, Elsy has stayed in her room at night all week long!  It is the greatest miracle of all time!  But Tommy has been sleeping in our closet.  I am going to switch him back tomorrow night I think?  I am just a little worried because since he has moved to our room he has been waking up once a night and wants me to give him a drink and then pat his back until he falls asleep.... which when I put him back in Elsy's room that will wake her up and we might start the zombie cycle again.  We shall see.... praying for this sleep trial to be almost over!!

My children have discovered the magical world of dress ups.  One of the ladies I visit teach, Melissa, gave us a bunch of old dress ups that my kids have totally tied over.

Elsy is constantly switching from being a princess to a super hero to a fairy with wings.  Most of today she has been a dolphin.

I love her super hero/princess/mommy combo.

Elsy says the cutest things these days.  She just loves to chat.  The other day she was holding her stuffed animal and examining it and announced, "Feet live out of our bum bum."  Her bear didn't really have legs but I couldn't help but laugh.

Both of my kiddos have a terrible time at mealtime eating their food, even if they like it!  Elsy just never wants to eat at the table.  Logan came up with an ingenious way to get her to eat that has kept her fed for the last few months.  If she isn't eating he will tell her a made up story.  The key is to keep plenty of suspense, and at a super suspenseful part he will open his mouth and say "Ah!" and she will have to eat a bite really quick to hear what comes next.  She gets so excited about it and the stories Logan comes up with are quite interesting to say the least.

On Friday we went to an amazing park in Renton with my aunt Kaylene and her two boys and my Grandma Merkley, who was in town.

It has been so hot this week!  And there was no shade at this park.  But the kids had a blast nonetheless.

Tommy was so cute with my grandma.  He would run up to her and give her hugs!  He doesn't do that for anyone!  I loved it and I hope she did too. :)

The pool at our complex opened and we have been to swim twice this week.  I love it because it has a gargantuan kiddie pool!  It is perfect for the kids to get antiquated with the water.  I have to keep reminding myself not to force Elsy to get her face wet.  She is still trying to feel her way around the pool and is slowly gaining confidence.  Tommy, on the other hand, would be dead by now if I hadn't been around to snag him every time he gets to excited.

This morning we made frozen yogurt covered raspberries and blueberries.  It was a very hard activity to do while fasting, I will tell you.  I worked so hard for this picture to have them both look.  Ugh, Elsy and Tommy do not cooperate when it comes to taking pictures. 

Sadly all of us only had one or two after they were frozen before we decided they were just to cold to bite into.  Ah well, it was a fun try.  I am after new ideas for healthy kid snacks... or adult too!

And I had to include this picture because of Elsy's hilarious bunny teeth smile.

As always, I am trying to slow down.  I have been reminding myself that my kids are only kids once.  I recently read a quote attributed to Marjory Hinkley that says something along the lines of, "Sat yes as often as possible to your kids because they are only kids once."  I realized I say no so often and so quickly when they ask for things and I have been realizing my "no' really has no base except that maybe I don't feel like doing it.  I have been trying hard to remember this each day as I parent.  And also am trying to slow down and find joy in the little things, like when I rock my kids before bed time or when they run and sit on my lap to read a book.  I have been learning to take a deep breath and cherish those little moments and remember that they are just little people who want to be loved and understood just as much as I do... they just do it in a different way.  It breaks my heart when I realize Elsy is telling me a story about something that happened to her and she is half way through and I haven't even been listening because I was doing the dishes or something else.  I really want to try harder to pay more attention to the kid's needs.

One of the other things I have been working on is staying busy.  My friend Camille told me once that our bodies can physically do more than your brain thinks it can.  We were talking about lifting weights and working out but I started realizing how this is true in life in general.  My body often proves my brain wrong when it thinks I need more sleep but I am able to still get through a day with little sleep.  Or when I am running and I force myself to keep going to that milestone up ahead even when my brain is screaming it can't be done.  I have also noticed this to be true with other things like spiritual trials.  Even when my brain doesn't think I can't keep going through what I am going through, my body and spirit continue to surprise me.  Logan and I are working on pushing ourselves to get more done each day.  There are so many times that I put the kids to bed and think, "Finally!  Now I can just rest for the evening."  But as I have been reading the family book my Grandma Volmer gave me I have been amazed over and over at what my ancestors were required to do in a day, and were therefore capable of doing in a day.  It has inspired me to make better use of my day, even after the kids are in bed for nap time or in bed for the evening.  My goal is to just make better use of my time.  Today Logan and I deleted all social media off of our phones so we don't have that option at our fingertips constantly.  Logan has been reading his scriptures more and I have been writing in my journal.  Logan has been around to help put the kids to bed and we have spent more time as a family going out.  I am also trying to read more books instead of pointless blogs or peoples obnoxious opinions. Haha.  I am excited for us as we start this new goal to be more productive with our time, even when we think we can't.  Wish us luck!

Fishing and Fun

As always its a party here at the Bean house!

Every morning we wake up, go work out, come home, and the kids read books while I shower.  I might be getting a little tired of re-shelving almost all the books in the case every day, but I am so glad my kids like to read.

Lately I have been looking back in time through my journals.  I have really been wanting to improve on sincerely caring for those around me by showing love and listening.  If anyone watched the most recent Relief Society Broadcast there was a talk about looking through a window at others when talking with them instead of a mirror.  That has become my new mantra, and I will literally bite my tongue to remind myself that a conversation is not about what I want to bring to the table.

 

Long ago I went to Barnes and Nobel and bought a little journal that I call "My Love Journal".  I  bought it back when Logan and I first started dating.  I could tell he really had a lot husband material going on in his handsome being and I wanted to make sure I really understood what love was so that I could make the decision to know if I truly loved him.  I spent the next several months recording scriptures, quotes, and notes all on the topic of love (if you are dating I highly recommend doing this it was awesome! and proved to be so helpful as I chose who I would end up marrying).  I still add to it from time to time because I know that love, or charity as it is often referred to in the scriptures, is a trait I always should be working on.

As I made notes of love and what I wanted in a husband, I realized more and more that these were the traits that I needed to cultivate in myself.  While reading through this journal recently I came across the above list of characteristics of a kind person.  Again I was reminded of how kind Logan is, because he still has all of these traits.

Another favorite thing I stumbled upon in the last few weeks of reading through my journals was a list of questions I wrote down about Logan.  Questions like, Do I love Logan?  What do we have in common?  What don't we?  What goals of ours are the same?  What are different?  etc.  It was so funny to read my answers to these questions because I was clearly giving it a LOT of thought, as to if I should marry him or not.  The answers to the questions were written over the space of two semesters and it was so interesting to almost watch as my feelings for him changed from initial 'dating love' to a full and complete love that comes as you find your spouse.  I will forever be glad that I kept a journal of these moments!

In other news, Thomas is the biggest tease on the planet.  His favorite pass time is taking Elsy's toys and listening to her scream.  Today she fell asleep on the couch after church and he got a hoot out of poking and hitting her and making her cry until we caught wind of what was going on.  Here he has her necklace and wont give it back.

We decided to go with my family on a little fishing trip to the Tucannon, outside of Dayton, WA.  We packed up on a Friday and left just before nap time.  There is something cozy about having both your kiddos sleeping in the back of the car.

I just love my mom and dad.  Dad got everything put together for us all to go fishing.  I have always taken for granted how much work that goes behind traveling and going on outings until I had kids of my own.  Thanks Dad and Mom for taking us out on so many fun adventures!!

On the drive out we stopped at a fun little park to stretch our legs.

There was the biggest swing set there and so many fun fun toys!  You just don't find outdoor toys like that out here in Eastern WA where every one sues and blames others for their misfortunes. :P

Tommy loves swinging but only for short periods of time.  He can be a nervous soul sometimes... but other times he is crazy adventurous.  I haven't figured him out quite yet.

Elsy has always loved swinging and would swing all day if I let her.  A girl after my own heart.  I love swinging.

By the time we got to the lake the sun was high in the air and it was quite hot.  Especially since last time we went fishing there we froze to death so we all dressed with long pants and jackets.  It was gorgeous out and the fishing was good, although in years past it has been better.  

Since Elsy couldn't remember the last time she had been fishing, we prepared her by showing her YouTube videos of kids catching fish and I had told her all about it.  The instant we were there she wanted to catch a fish and was in tears because Grandpa and Dad weren't fast enough at baiting the hook.  And then she was in tears again because there was to much waiting after the pole was cast.  Luckily Logan was patient with her and they sate for a while.  When she finally got to reel in a fish she didn't quite know what to think.

She stood there like this just staring for quite a long time and then asked, "Why is it got blood on it?"  She didn't want to catch any more after that.  I hope she doesn't end up queezy because I am already excited to take her hunting when she gets old enough!

Tommy on the other hand was all over those fish.  He had a blast playing in the dirt but it was quite the workout keeping him out of the water!

 It was also close to nap time by the time we got to the lake so he was a bit cranky.

Elsy had the rosiest cheeks because of the heat and they were oh so cute.  

While we were home my mom told Riley to help clean up and she wouldn't.  So Elsy decided to sing to her "When we're helping we're happy!" I guess Riley wasn't to thrilled about that.  We have been singing that song, and "When My Mother Calls Me" a lot lately at our house...

Logan was content to sit out in the sun and fish.  I didn't get a license which was kind of sad, but I helped Elsy reel in her fish so I got my fish fix out of that. 

The kids were totally out on the way home.  And I was too.

We spent the rest of the weekend out in the sun at my parents house, playing with cousins.

My parents bought this little plastic pool with a slide built into it.  

I think all of the kids ended up slipping at some point but it was a total hit.  Elsy kept squatting on the side and saying "Part of your... WORLD!" in which she would burst up over the side.  Pretty hilarious.

And of course we had to do sprinklers on the tramp, my personal fav.  

Nothing beats the wide open sky in Tri-Cities.  I sure do love that blue, and the sunsets are to die for.

I feel like all my pictures of Tommy are little grump faces.  He was pretty pouty the whole time we were at my parents house.  It was a mix of teething and the crowds.  He sure doesn't like small crowds.  Bit ones hes fine in, but small ones I think its a little to many intimate people for his little heart to take and he just wants to cling... and cry. :(

While we were there my dad bought an ATV for the trailer park he owns... I have my suspicions about that but the kids loved getting rides and just playing on it.

Elsy and Ezra are such good friends.  I can't wait for Hannah to move back in June so the trio can wreak some havoc. :)

On the way home while the kids were sleeping, Logan and I got to talk a lot.  I happened to glance up into my visor and saw this so I quickly took a picture just because I want to remember how much fun it is getting to talk and drive with my best friend.

Logan and I have really been having some awesome gospel conversations these last few months.  Logan has been listening to a lot of business books and came across a book called Reinventing Organizations which talks a lot about something called "The Color Spectrum".  Its really interesting, you should check it out.  But it got him thinking and applying the spectrum to a lot more than just businesses.  Ever since I have learned about it to I have been able to do the same and it has been really eye opening as we apply it to the gospel.  We talked about it with Logan's dad and Logan and his dad ended up making a little visual that puts the color spectrum idea into context with the gospel.  

Before they made this I really wasn't able to see the whole picture but once they did I could finally grasp how it worked into the gospel.  Now I find myself asking myself where I fall on the spectrum with different aspects of my testimony.  When I find myself keeping a commandment because maybe "That's just the way it is!" I really try to delve deeper into it and learn the meaning of why I am keeping that commandment.  It has been awesome as I try to work my way through the colors to get into the "Teal Section" in different aspects of the gospel and the doctrines the church teaches.

It's interesting how Logan came across the color spectrum way of thinking about things, actually.  He and I were both struggling with some questions about the history of the church.  I have always really struggled with the doctrine involved with polygamy.  I feel like I am always going in these cycles when it comes to it where I end up putting it on the shelf for a while until it comes up again.  It came up again and I realized that every time I stuck it on the shelf I was hurting more and more.  I just can't understand it because Logan and my relationship is so wonderful and amazing and I just can't understand how it could be as deeply rooted and the same as if we had to share that relationship.  My huge need to be loved and accepted the way I am is cultivated and comes a lot from our one on one relationship.  At the same time Logan had a good friend leave the church named Sam.  She shared her story on a podcast that really left Logan in a lurch. I definitely was feeling really worried about everything and wondering what steps to take next, because really I felt like I wasn't getting any answers, and Logan wasn't either.  I remember telling Logan, "If I could just find a church with everything in ours only it didn't have polygamy, I seriously would leave this church and go to that one."  The problem was/is I knew that everything else in the gospel is true!  How confusing!  I just cant see how something that seems so repulsive to me could be something that the church I love so much and the church that brings clarity to my life and ultimately SHAPES my life could claim polygamy in its history.  I spent a few weeks in utter turmoil, and Logan too.  But it was only after we decided to trust the Lord and say, "Even though we don't understand this and answers don't seem to be coming we feel good about, we will still continue with our faith because we know from experiences that the church is true" that we actually finally did start to get answers.  I thought that was interesting.  It wasn't until we trusted Him and accepted the gospel as it was that we we got answers.  Not very long after we decided trusting was more important than understanding did we stumble across the "Color Spectrum."  

At first when Logan introduced it to me I was wary because it seemed kind of like a man made philosophy that mixed in with scriptures and I didn't feel to good about that.  But the more I have understood it, I am realizing that it is actually just the progression of someones testimony set to a rainbow... and we all know how much I love rainbows... and the Lord... so it really is kind of perfect for me and helps me visualize things better. :)

Anyway!! I feel like this has helped shape a lot of our conversations as of late (or more like the better portion of this last year), and it was what we spent a lot of time talking about on the drive home.  Wow, I didn't plan to share all that. Haha

We got home and went back to normal life.  Normal life has been Tommy waking up way to early and falling asleep in the car every morning.  The above is my attempt to wake him up to eat lunch.  He was so out.  (And the poor kid always has a bruise somewhere on his little head).

I wish I could sleep like him sometimes.  Elsy comes up with the craziest excuses to get out of bed.  I must really love her though because I find myself clearing a path for her to walk to my bedroom in the dark.... seriously!? I can't believe I do that.  My favorite was the one where she came in around 5am and said "Mom!  The birds are singing good morning!"... way to chipper for 5am.  She was right, though.  The windows were open and the birds were singing.  We finally installed a lock and that seemed to help but it also started to develop some anxiety in her.  She mentioned that Cinderella's mom locks her in her bedroom.  When she did that I decided we should stop locking her in.  I didn't want her to see me as the evil stepmother. :(  We went back to taking away the teddy bear if she comes out more than once and that has been the most successful by far.

We sure love parks and there are a lot of good ones here in Issaquah.

I have taken to packing some chicken dinosaurs and having them eat at the park, that way if Tommy does fall asleep in the car I can just slide him right into bed when we get home.

This month was Elsy's birthday and to help her better visualize when it would be we made a paper chain!  She asked several times a day to tear a chain off and all the way down to the day before her birthday she would say "Mom! We didn't tear a chain!" at every meal even though we did tear a chain already.

My kids love the Kids Quest Children's Museum so we go every other week or so. (We got a membership)

They have this awesome water area and these fun aprons the kids wear that don't protect them at all.  The kids are always soaked no matter what.

This is Tommy's favorite spot.  He is kind of a hog.  He takes after his dad. :P

Logan worked from home this day so we went out to give hims some quiet... and also Elsy stayed in her bed the whole night long for the first time in forever so this was her reward.  She told me she wanted to send Daddy a funny face picture.

She is so darling.  And this is her new favorite toucan shirt.

So we had a bad experience with Tommy that made us re-arrange the kids bedroom.  Elsy's bed was right below the window sill and on many occasion I would go into the bedroom to find Tommy standing on the window sill looking down three stories at the cars.  Which is fine, because the window is always closed.  So this particular day I saw him on the window sill and was like, whatever, if I take him down he will just get up again so I left him.  I feel bad because I left him up there a lot.  He knew how to get down.  Well a few minutes later we hear a big crash, some crying, and an even bigger crash and then some utter screaming.  I ran in to find he had fallen off the sill, onto the bed and then off the bed again.  But the worst part was that he was completely tangled in the string that hangs down that draws up the blinds.  It was wrapped around his neck and luckily his arm was in it too or he wouldn't have been able to scream and he might have chocked and we wouldn't have known!  It was a really scary experience and we were all shaken up.  He had a welt around his neck and his voice was hoarse for the rest of the night.  I had heard about kids choking on those strings before but I just kind of sluffed it off like, "that wont happen to us".  Anyway, super scary.  And a great reminder that Yes!  It actually can happen to you!!  We re-arranged the furniture so now there is no climbing up there.

That night during our couple prayer before bed Logan said, "Please protect our kids from getting hurt... for their whole lives."  Then he stopped and we both started to laugh.  Oh how we wish we could just protect them from everything and keep them in our little home bubble.

Anyway.  Here he is after the incident.  We always keep this castle facing this way because if we turn it around then he climbs onto the second story of the castle to look out the window (he really likes looking down at all the cars!) and I don't want the castle to break.  So he climbs behind it and his legs stick out the doors.  Its hilarious.

Here he is again with the castle.  He is so funny.  He cries when I put him in his bed because he wants to play with his toys.  And when he wakes up in the morning he whines and then wants me to put him down and he runs straight to his toys.  So cute.

I love when I tell him to get his shoes and he runs away and grabs them and then comes and backs up to me.  I have to sit down quick so he will land on my lap. :)  He does the same for books he wants me to read.

Another favorite play place is the Kid's Cove at Bellevue Square Mall.

I was so happy because three girls invited Elsy to play with them.  Here she is, in the purple, playing with them.  Ever since her experience with the bullies she has been pretty wary of playing with other kiddos... or maybe I .  She was timidly following these girls around and I was worried they were going to be mean to her.  Then the oldest girl turned around and asked Elsy if she wanted to play.  Elsy couldn't have been happier and I almost cried for joy.  I was so glad she had a good experience at the play place instead of another bad one like before.

After hearing about the earthquakes in the news I realized I needed to take some inventory of our 72 hour kits and update them and add to them.  We have a big backpack full of stuff and then a duffle bag with spare clothing.  Its a work in progress!  I spent a few nap times making copies of all our important documents like birth certificates, social security cards, marriage licences, patriarchal blessings, proof of ownership for our cars, etc.  I also printed an emergency contact list I found on Pinterest and filled that all out and printed a detailed map of the state.  And then, saddest part, I printed pictures of each of our family members.  After I printed them I held them and started to cry because I just can't imagine walking around holding a picture of my husband, or sweet little kid, asking others "Have you seen this person?"  It was a little to real for me. :(

We spent a hot afternoon on the porch with bowls, water, and ice cubes.  The pool doesn't open for another month and it was like 88 degrees!  What are you supposed to do!?

We also said goodbye to one of my bestest friends, McKenna.  She just had her sweet little girl, Molly, and is moving to Utah.  We stopped by to say goodbye.  It was really sad and we will miss Cameron and McKenna, or should I say Tamron and Kenna, very VERRRRY much!! :(

Every Saturday is pizza night at our house.  Elsy learned how to grate the cheese (which means we get really really tiny slivers of cheese) and she helped Logan out.  We go buy a bunch of pizza dough at Trader Joes ($1.19 people!!) and throw it in the freezer.  Then the day before we put it in the fridge to thaw.  Its pretty awesome.

Logan always told me I'm a cute peeker.  When we were dating it was always cold in Rexburg and I had my hood up a lot and he said he liked the way I peeked out at him.  I have found Elsy is also a good peeker but in different ways.

The "Kitty Cat" loves to peek out of pillows and warm places.  She told me the other day she was a horse and I about died I was so excited.  She said, "I can be other animals!"  I was so happy... Tonight she was a super hero.  Hurray... but as she crawled into her bed she said, "I'm tired of being a super hero.  I'm a cat."  And she snuggled into her blankets. 

*forehead slap*